Hi I'm Emily and I really like cats, bands and tv shows.
2srooky:

124:

photosynthesis… hacked

*stares at the sun* we’re in.

2srooky:

124:

photosynthesis… hacked

*stares at the sun* we’re in.

(via michaxl)

Notes
106238
Posted
14 hours ago

facts-i-just-made-up:

masterracecurbstomp:

facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

The full set of “Steal her look” spoofs. Please do be sure to pick up a copy of that book

For the day crowd

I can straight up buy a crocodile from a zoo?

Yeah but they don’t just sell to anyone, You gotta know the secret code:

  • "Crocodile" is "Jock Strap"
  • "Hey buddy" is "In the name of"
  • "I gotta buy" is "Borscht"
  • "One" is "My Own"
  • "I’m on the level" is "I’ve vomited"
  • "I know the code" is "The Dark Lord Satan"

So the complete sentence to buy a Crocodile at a willing Zoo is, “In the name of the Dark Lord Satan I’ve vomited borscht into my own jock strap!”

Just go to any zoo and shout this code, and someone will know the deal and get you your crocodile.

Notes
3829
Posted
14 hours ago

thors-oh-so-jovial:

thors-oh-so-jovial:

thors-oh-so-jovial:

There is a blind man here tuning my piano and he keeps making blind jokes

quote “you know when people ring me up to ask if I can fix their piano I like to tell them i’m so good I can do it without looking”

Sometimes people ask why i became a piano tuner and i tell them its because they wouldnt let me become a pilot

(Source: thor-n-cap, via watdafuckie)

Notes
95413
Posted
15 hours ago

illuminotus:

battledinosaur:

I love this show with my whole heart.

this show has changed my life 

(Source: babyanus, via official-gallifrey)

Notes
181157
Posted
15 hours ago

watdafuckie:

Why do girls always say they want a boyfriend that will call them princess like wtf call me your queen and bow for me motherfucker

Notes
1
Posted
15 hours ago

fallenangelflonne:

aknowlee:

basedmountaindew:

kaldriss:

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>god damn i love sandwiches

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>god damn i cant stand dubbed anime

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>god damn i hope my real teacher never comes back

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>i’m 20,000 leagues under the fucking sea

(Source: grovyle, via watdafuckie)

Notes
153029
Posted
15 hours ago

hippity-hoppity-brigade:

THE BEST WAY TO GO OUT: CONTINUING A RUNNING GAG.

(Source: fionaglenanne, via i-suck-dick)

Notes
123614
Posted
16 hours ago

codingcloud:

does cocaine smell good or something

(Source: sassykardashian, via vaginatrainer)

Notes
15620
Posted
16 hours ago
impossiblycastiel:

Steal His Look: Shrek
Lagar Conne Row Ismenia top ($1,390) Isabel Marant Atkins vest ($4,200) Basil Rib wool blend tights ($50) Marsell Suade lug boots ($1,090) Ralph Lauren crocodile belt ($1,950)

impossiblycastiel:

Steal His Look: Shrek

Lagar Conne Row Ismenia top ($1,390)
Isabel Marant Atkins vest ($4,200)
Basil Rib wool blend tights ($50)
Marsell Suade lug boots ($1,090)
Ralph Lauren crocodile belt ($1,950)

(via zackisontumblr)

Notes
48806
Posted
16 hours ago
me:hey i like this thing it's pretty cool
tumblr:here's a list of 247 reasons with 2 paragraphs each on why that thing is awful and you need to stop enjoying yourself
Notes
8472
Posted
16 hours ago
queerrose:

While we’re bringing back memes and the 00’s may I remind you of Happy Bunny.

queerrose:

While we’re bringing back memes and the 00’s may I remind you of Happy Bunny.

(via aduhm)

Notes
22982
Posted
16 hours ago
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